Physical Abuse

violates a person's personal physical space or property and represents a misuse of physical strength or aggression.


• acts of physical violence such as hitting, pushing , kicking for example, or threatening to do such things
• violent destruction of a person's personal property
• exposing a person to acts of violence perpetrated on another person

Emotional abuse

violates a person's feelings or freedom to feel and express feelings


• withdrawal of affection and\or communication in order to get one's way or to exert power
• use of praise to control, by withholding praise or lavishly praising to mold a person to one's will
• Rages and inappropriately expressed anger, tantrums
• Verbal put downs, criticisms, sarcasm which erode self-esteem
• invalidating a person's feelings
• Guilt trips
• Threats of abandonment
• Excessive scrutiny and suspiciousness
• Double Binds or 'damned if you do damned if you don't' situations
• harassing, stalking, spying, obsessive attempts to seduce or entice or at a more subtle level attempting to wear down a person's resistance by intellectual and emotional tactics such as asking for something over and over again until the person caves in...

Sexual abuse

violates a person's sexual boundaries and right to make personal sexual choices


• infidelity or threats to be unfaithful sexually
• manipulating a person by witholding sexual attention and affection
• rape, incest, date rape
• being pressured to go beyond what one feels comfortable doing sexually
• exposure to sexual images or jokes or teasing inappropriately
• taking advantage of a person's sexual vulnerability

Intellectual abuse

violates a person's right to think for themself


• witholding pertinent information from a person
• brainwashing
• stifling a person's right to an education
• restricting access to information
• preventing a person from being influenced by friends, counselors, family members etc...
• patternisitic portrayal of another person as stupid or creating 'you are always wrong, I am always right' situations...this can be very subtle in the form of suggestions, advice, usually in an overly detailed and technical and usually irrelevant manner...setting the controller up as an 'expert' or 'competent' person and the abused is made to feel incompetent...
• using intellectual arguments to manipulate

Spiritual abuse

violates a person's religious boundaries and choices


• forcing a person to conform religiously
• using spirituality to control or dominate a person
• imposing one's value system on another person
• misuse of spiritual power and leadership to take advantage of a person

Financial abuse

violates a person's freedom to live independently and misuses financial power


• creating financial dependence...which restricts a person's ability to consider leaving the abusive relationship
• excessive gift giving...looks like generosity but is designed to control the other person
• refusing to account for money spent
• controlling and hiding financial assets