Types of Abuse and Warning Signs


Warning Signs

The following identifies a series of behaviors that are typically demonstrated by abusive people towards their victims. Recognizing any of these forms of abuse, whether they be psychological, economic or physical, can be signs of a violent relationship.


Emotional and Economic Attacks

Type of Abuse

Examples

Destructive Criticism/Verbal Abuse Name-calling; mocking; accusing; blaming; yelling; swearing; making humiliating remarks or gestures
Pressure Tactics Rushing you to make decisions through "guilt-tripping" and other forms of intimidation; sulking; threatening to withhold money; manipulating the children
Abusing Authority Always claiming to be right (insisting statements are "the truth"); telling you what to do; making big decisions; using "logic."
Disrespect Interrupting; changing topics; not listening or responding; twisting your words; putting you down in front of other people; saying bad things about your friends and family
Abusing Trust Lying; withholding information; cheating on you; being overly jealous
Breaking Promises Not following through on agreements; not taking a fair share of responsibility; refusing to help with child care or housework
Emotional Withholding Not expressing feelings; not giving support, attention, or compliments; not respecting feelings, rights or opinions
Minimizing, Denying & Blaming Making light of behavior and not taking your concerns about it seriously; saying the abuse didn't happen; shifting responsibility for abusive behavior; saying you caused it
Economic Control Interfering with your work or not letting you work; refusing to give you money or taking your money; taking your car keys or otherwise preventing you from using the car; threatening to report you to welfare of other social service agencies
Self-Destructive Behavior Abusing drugs or alcohol; threatening suicide or other forms of self-harm; deliberately saying or doing things that will have negative consequences (e.g., telling off the boss)
Isolation Preventing or making it difficult for you to see friends or relatives; monitoring phone calls; telling you where you can and cannot go
Harrassment Making uninvited visits or calls; following you; checking up on you; embarrassing you in public; refusing to leave when asked


Acts of Violence

Type of Abuse

Examples

Intimidation Making angry or threatening gestures; use of physical size to intimidate; standing in doorway during arguments; out shouting you; driving recklessly
Destruction Destroying your possessions (e.g., furniture); punching walls; throwing and/or breaking things
Threats Making and/or carrying out threats to hurt you or others
Sexual Violence Degrading treatment based on your sex of sexual orientation; using force, threats or coercion to obtain sex or perform sexual acts
Physical Violence Being violent to you, your children, household pets or others: Slapping; punching; grabbing; kicking; choking; pushing; biting; burning; stabbing; shooting; etc...
Weapons Use of weapons, keeping weapons around which frighten you; threatening or attempting to kill you or those you love carrying out threats to hurt you or others.


Note: material on this page was originally published by Cohis on the web.bu.edu website